I feel like I have been lead to the spot where I'm am today. I have adopter 3 children with FASD( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder) I find the teaching methods I used with my older children do not work with these children. With the help of a wonderful therapist and others such as people working with mental health in children I'm learning. It is taking a while to let all this sink in and see the behaviors that each of the children need help with. It is hard to see what is missing when the children are very young because very young children are not expected to understand time , money, socal cutes ect... One of the things we have to do is to go over things again and again trying to wear a pattern in the brain.(Children with FASD brains do not fire in lines like ours do. They fire randomly. ) So things have to be done in the same order and at the same time every time to wear a pattern in the brain.
When Jasmine finished kindergarten she didn't have the kindergarten material learned. So we took it home and over the summer we worked on learn the material. We repeated it and learned it. By the time school started again she had the kindergarten material down. So she did very well until January of the first grade. (When they started learning new material.) After the first grade was finished we took the first grade material home and we went over it and over it until by the time school started again she had the first grade material down. So she started out the second grade in great shape however now that we are past January she is starting to fall behind. Also more of the social ques are being missed so that is becoming an issue as well. I know we will have to do some role playing to get her to understand what is going on with her friends and how to stay safe and out of trouble. What a learning curve for me . I hope I can figure it out.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Taken by the Hand
In my story we are now parents of Jasmine. We moved to a new town and had her sealed to our family. The adoption was on July 18th or 2005, the move was on October 15th of 2005 and the temple sealing happened on Jan of 2006. We had peace for a while before the Lord took us by the hand and asked use to start taking in children in Foster care again. So we got everything ready and renewed our license.
Our first placement was two little boys they were Indian ,Sioux. Oh how we loved Mona, and Toffe. They returned to the tribe after we had them for only 4 months. (So much the same as Andre he was Navajo and returned to his Grandma.) Just before they left we got word that Jasmine's sister was coming into the system.(foster care) Grandma Nancy called. I insisted on taking Janae into our home. We had all three children only for 10 days and then the boys were gone. Janae stayed. She was and still is adorable. She came to our family on August 30th of 2006 at 7 months of age. On february 26th we got a call from Grandma Nancy that Joseph had been born and he would not be going home with his biological mom. So we waited to hear and prepare for a new baby. We got the call on February 28th and they asked if we would take him when he was ready to be released by the hospital. We said "Yes" and waited. The hospital called on March 1st of 2007. We went and picked him up from the hospital. What a sweet baby.
We adopted Janae on July 9th of 2007 and Joseph was adopted on September 10th of 2007. Both children were sealed to us on November the 23 of 2007 in the Bountiful temple. All of our children were present except Lael who had left for the mission field in June. The Lord hand was in this all along the way. I cried when I heard that Janae would join us. and again then we got the word about Joseph. What wonderful little children God has placed in our care.
It is good for me to remember how much I felt the Lord's guidance while all these things were happening. I know that God wants these children to be part of our family and so I need to know that He will show me how to help them have all that is GOOD IN THERE LIVES. I pressed the caps by mistake but I think it was to be that way for me so see. Sometimes my vision gets so cluttered by what is not important that I forget what is of most importance. This is what He has for me to do and so we will succeed.
Our first placement was two little boys they were Indian ,Sioux. Oh how we loved Mona, and Toffe. They returned to the tribe after we had them for only 4 months. (So much the same as Andre he was Navajo and returned to his Grandma.) Just before they left we got word that Jasmine's sister was coming into the system.(foster care) Grandma Nancy called. I insisted on taking Janae into our home. We had all three children only for 10 days and then the boys were gone. Janae stayed. She was and still is adorable. She came to our family on August 30th of 2006 at 7 months of age. On february 26th we got a call from Grandma Nancy that Joseph had been born and he would not be going home with his biological mom. So we waited to hear and prepare for a new baby. We got the call on February 28th and they asked if we would take him when he was ready to be released by the hospital. We said "Yes" and waited. The hospital called on March 1st of 2007. We went and picked him up from the hospital. What a sweet baby.
We adopted Janae on July 9th of 2007 and Joseph was adopted on September 10th of 2007. Both children were sealed to us on November the 23 of 2007 in the Bountiful temple. All of our children were present except Lael who had left for the mission field in June. The Lord hand was in this all along the way. I cried when I heard that Janae would join us. and again then we got the word about Joseph. What wonderful little children God has placed in our care.
It is good for me to remember how much I felt the Lord's guidance while all these things were happening. I know that God wants these children to be part of our family and so I need to know that He will show me how to help them have all that is GOOD IN THERE LIVES. I pressed the caps by mistake but I think it was to be that way for me so see. Sometimes my vision gets so cluttered by what is not important that I forget what is of most importance. This is what He has for me to do and so we will succeed.
Friday, February 19, 2010
How it all began
To understand the situation one must understand the origin or beginning. In August of 2002 I was just finishing a summer of two weddings. Two of my children had been married that summer both wanted receptions in our back yard. The receptions were great and I was tired. I had three married children and our youngest at the time was 4 years of age.
I began to have disturbing dreams. I would hear a child calling Mom, Mom, Mom. I had this experence before when a child was to join our family. This was disturbing because at the age of 46 I didn't think bearing another child was a good option. I contacted all 8 of my children to make sure everyone was O.K. I made this dream a matter of prayer to understand what I was to do. I didn't say anything to Alan my husband. The dream kept coming and I began to understand that a child needed a home and wanted me to provide a home for her to grow up in.
I finallytalked to Alan about my dream in September. We had travled to Park City for a get-a-way. When he asked me what I planned to do when Peter went to school the next year. I told him I was afraid to tell him because I was afraid he would think I was crazy. Then I told him about the dreams and that I thought we were being directed to look for a child to adopt that needed a home. He told me that he had had the same dream. So we began looking.
There weren't many options open to us because we already had 8 children and we were older. Over-seas adoption was one option however the cost was between 20 and 30 thousand dollars. We didn't have the money to look there. We had enough money to support another child but not enough to spend that amount looking. Then we remembered foster care. We had thought about doing foster care before but everytime I looked in to it I'd become pregnant and we let it go .
So we got ready to do foster care as a way to adopt. We believe that all children should have a family that loves and take care of them. I knew we were looking for a little girl, probably Hispanic. because of my prayers. We took classes , completeed a home study, and waited. Our first placement was a beutiful little boy 14 monthes old. Andre stayed with us only 4 monthes but I fell in love with him. What a sweet boy. He returned to his paternal Grandmother. It was difficult to let go. He had be born very pre-mature only weighing 2 pounds .
Jasmine was placed with us on August 13th. She had just turned 2 and we were her second foster home since being taken from her family at 20 months. She had come from the hospatial before going into foster care. She had asthma that had put her in the hospital. No one came to pick her up when it was time to go home. She was tested, then they placed her in the Christmas Box House and she had meth and cocaine in her system. She was also obese and border line diabetic. She had very few English words in her vocabulary. Her first foster home had introduced food. She had not had solid food only bottles and hot cheetos. We were told that she would not be staying long as her maternal grandmother was getting things in order to take her. We were able to stabilize her diet and she stopped gaining weight. We were advised that she needed to grow into her weight by her doctor.
Her language exploded and she had fisrt 50 words and then 500 words to ask for what she wanted. It was fun to watch her grow. How she loved to be able to talk and say what she wanted and how she felt. Her grandmother completed the requirments and she was placed in a 45 day trail reunionification with her. She moved home and I thought we were done. However her Grandmother requested that I make weekly visits. So I supported her Grandmother as she tried to parent Jasmine and teach her the skills a two year old needs to be learning.
As the 45 day period came to a close she asked to meet with me and told me she was having health problems and she only felt peace if Jasmine was with us. So I went to court with her Grandmother and she signed her over to us. Jasmine moved back to our home and we began to prepare for her adoption. On July 18th of 2004 she joined our family. All my children came to court and Grandma Nancy came as well. So it began.
I began to have disturbing dreams. I would hear a child calling Mom, Mom, Mom. I had this experence before when a child was to join our family. This was disturbing because at the age of 46 I didn't think bearing another child was a good option. I contacted all 8 of my children to make sure everyone was O.K. I made this dream a matter of prayer to understand what I was to do. I didn't say anything to Alan my husband. The dream kept coming and I began to understand that a child needed a home and wanted me to provide a home for her to grow up in.
I finallytalked to Alan about my dream in September. We had travled to Park City for a get-a-way. When he asked me what I planned to do when Peter went to school the next year. I told him I was afraid to tell him because I was afraid he would think I was crazy. Then I told him about the dreams and that I thought we were being directed to look for a child to adopt that needed a home. He told me that he had had the same dream. So we began looking.
There weren't many options open to us because we already had 8 children and we were older. Over-seas adoption was one option however the cost was between 20 and 30 thousand dollars. We didn't have the money to look there. We had enough money to support another child but not enough to spend that amount looking. Then we remembered foster care. We had thought about doing foster care before but everytime I looked in to it I'd become pregnant and we let it go .
So we got ready to do foster care as a way to adopt. We believe that all children should have a family that loves and take care of them. I knew we were looking for a little girl, probably Hispanic. because of my prayers. We took classes , completeed a home study, and waited. Our first placement was a beutiful little boy 14 monthes old. Andre stayed with us only 4 monthes but I fell in love with him. What a sweet boy. He returned to his paternal Grandmother. It was difficult to let go. He had be born very pre-mature only weighing 2 pounds .
Jasmine was placed with us on August 13th. She had just turned 2 and we were her second foster home since being taken from her family at 20 months. She had come from the hospatial before going into foster care. She had asthma that had put her in the hospital. No one came to pick her up when it was time to go home. She was tested, then they placed her in the Christmas Box House and she had meth and cocaine in her system. She was also obese and border line diabetic. She had very few English words in her vocabulary. Her first foster home had introduced food. She had not had solid food only bottles and hot cheetos. We were told that she would not be staying long as her maternal grandmother was getting things in order to take her. We were able to stabilize her diet and she stopped gaining weight. We were advised that she needed to grow into her weight by her doctor.
Her language exploded and she had fisrt 50 words and then 500 words to ask for what she wanted. It was fun to watch her grow. How she loved to be able to talk and say what she wanted and how she felt. Her grandmother completed the requirments and she was placed in a 45 day trail reunionification with her. She moved home and I thought we were done. However her Grandmother requested that I make weekly visits. So I supported her Grandmother as she tried to parent Jasmine and teach her the skills a two year old needs to be learning.
As the 45 day period came to a close she asked to meet with me and told me she was having health problems and she only felt peace if Jasmine was with us. So I went to court with her Grandmother and she signed her over to us. Jasmine moved back to our home and we began to prepare for her adoption. On July 18th of 2004 she joined our family. All my children came to court and Grandma Nancy came as well. So it began.
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